We’ll just start out by saying the day before was crazy and nothing like I hoped it would be. Too much to get ready for with being away from the kids for who knows how long. Too much cleaning, too much packing, too much stress and worry. Ruby had her pre-op appointment at PCH and she did well. She didn’t even cry longer than a couple seconds for her blood draw. I told the girl she must have done a good job since all the other times she was so sad about it. They did a chest x-ray and an EKG. I had been told jokingly by a doctor the previous week that they no longer needed a stethoscope to hear her heart because her murmur was so loud. On a scale of 1-6, with 6 being the loudest, hers was at least a 5 the doctor had said. The kids even were beginning to take turns listening to her heart swooshing inside of her–it was kind of amazing actually. Dr. Jou said it sounded like a washing machine. Which it did, and we could hear it so, so well! Ruby could feel the stress level I’m sure and therefore did not sleep hardly at all the day before surgery. I was trying to keep thing in perspective and what I should have done was left the house dirty, left the clothes unwashed, and just snuggled with Ruby and played with my kids. I wish I would have, but alas, having both my mom and my mother-in-law coming to and from my house, I felt the need to get things at least in some sort of order so it wasn’t so chaotic while we were gone. Being so busy was good to take my mind off of things, but sometimes it’s ok to feel such strong feelings and I actually would have preferred a much quieter day. A couple bright spots of the day were of course the few moments I had to snuggle my baby and pray so hard that things would work ok and it wasn’t the last day all together. We were brought dinner by Kami and Danielle from our old ward. Which was a huge blessing and so nice not to have to worry about that. Sabra came over with a waiting room care package gift. It was so great. And so thoughtful. There was also a note in there that I wasn’t to open until the waiting room. My friend Camilla also came over and I was able to kind of process my thoughts with her a little, which helped some too. At Primary Children’s Hospital that day, I was given special washcloths to wipe her down with after her bath. One for the upper half of her and one for the lower. We also had some special medicine to swab up her nose–they did that at the pre-op appointment as well. I gave my sweet baby a bath and washed her chest–the last time to wash it scar-less. I cried a little and said a prayer that she would grow up knowing how beautiful and strong she is. And that this wouldn’t be the last bath I ever gave her.
Before we put the kids to bed, we read scriptures in the boys’ room and Ruby was so totally slap happy :). They all got to make her laugh hysterically and loved it. She was so funny and they were thrilled about it. Devon said, “Thanks for being so happy the night before your surgery Ruby.” They were so concerned about her. So worried and all their prayers were so sweet. They kept telling her, “I hope your surgery goes ok Ruby.” and just couldn’t kiss her enough. They have such a special love for that baby. It’s the sweetest. Devon couldn’t sleep the whole time Ruby was up after they went to bed, he just didn’t want to miss saying goodbye to her one more time. I was a bit sad because well, it was Christmas time and we weren’t able to be together as a family. I knew I was going to miss my other kiddos. But they would be in good hands. So kissing them goodnight not knowing what was ahead for sure was difficult, and I prayed that whatever happened they would be ok. Dillon’s parents and brother came over at about 9:00 that night since we had asked them to give Ruby a blessing. She screamed her head off the whole time, ha ha! She was reallllllly tired after not sleeping well the whole day. And it was late, so she cried her eyes out while Dillon, Brad, and Jerry blessed her. Dillon’s blessing was great and we cried. Dillon gave me a blessing and Dillon’s dad gave him a blessing. I felt like a huge burden was lifted and I was able to feel peace. Ruby went to sleep and I got to work finishing up laundry and packing. I needed to shower still, get up and feed her at 4:30 since that was the last time she could eat before surgery. I did not get the shower in because she woke up at about 1:00 am, I fed her and fell asleep, so I had to shower in the morning after feeding her at 4:30. It was just nuts. I got 2 hours of sleep that night.
Originally posted on my family blog in 2013.